The mind/body connection is very powerful and it’s something I’ve really had to learn to listen to over the last few years. Last year was a big year for me – I finally turned a corner with my health and my business started to take off, yet I wasn’t feeling happy. It’s very easy to brush things under the carpet hoping they’ll go away, but I’ve learnt that when something hurts, in both the physical and emotional sense, our mind/body (and soul) are trying to teach us something. Of course, it takes courage to look inside ourselves and peel away the layers to see what’s really going on, but I’m kind of getting used to it and over the last few months I’ve been peeling away a few more.
I’ve realised that I’ve replaced the pushing and striving to get well, with pushing and striving to build a business. I’ve realised I missed out the part where I just get ‘to be’ for a bit – be a mum, be a wife, be me without all the struggling. Everyone, myself included, has only had a watered down version of me when I was unwell and in a way that’s all they’ve continued to have since I’ve started my business too.
The thing is I can’t turn back time, or change the past, or slow down time and stop Neve getting older. What I can change is the present and shape the future, which is why I’ve made the decision to put my business on hold for a while. This isn’t a decision I’ve come to lightly, especially after all the hard-work I’ve put in over the last 18 months, but when I look back in years to come will I want to look back at my achievements with my business or will I want to look back on these formative years of Neve’s life with fond memories?
Truth be told there would have been a time I would have pushed on through for fear of what people might think, but after all the uncertainty of the the last few years I couldn’t feel more certain about this. It’s all part of this journey of self-discovery I have found myself on and I know this is exactly where I’m meant to be and this is exactly how I’m supposed to have got here.
I will continue to see my existing clients and that is enough. What I’ve built so far is enough no more pushing and striving. Now it’s time to enjoy some quality time with my family and make some memories, free of me being unwell. Time to allow me and my family to heal emotionally. Time to focus on the things we have to look forward too, rather on the things we’ve missed out on – time to just ‘be’.